Learning To Let My Spirit Lead
A poem and reflection on trusting the unknown and coming home to myself
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love…” – Rumi
My spirit giggles as she leads me through the heavy mist.
Each time I think I’ve caught up to her, she darts off in another direction.
This isn’t a game of hide and seek, and we aren’t playing tag.
I’m not chasing anything, she’s just showing me the way.
As long as I quiet my thoughts and sit down to breathe,
she’s right there to remind me:
Here is perfect.
Right here, right now.
Who you are, where you are.
And then, before I know it, she’s off again—
leading me to the next passage.
I don’t have to wait for sleep to dream.
All around me are the seeds she needs me to water,
and the keys to my subconscious.
She sends me down a street where a stranger echoes the message I’ve been hearing in my mind,
to a bar where the singer’s melody rings through my heart.
I’m always given signs and symbols
that help me remember the home within me.
I’m not lost, even if that’s what it seems.
I’m out collecting the pieces of the woman I’m meant to become.
Sometimes I feel like I’m following Hansel and Gretel’s breadcrumbs,
praying they lead to clarity, not the inside of a hot oven.
But I’m never alone, and I’m never in danger,
not as long as it’s my own spirit I’m following.
So I wouldn’t call her a traveler.
I might feel like an explorer, treading through uncharted territory,
unsure of what might happen next—
but she knows exactly where she’s going.
I ask her to tell me.
It’s a surprise, she says.
I hope I learn to love it.
She knows I will.
As long as you learn to trust it.
Recently I’ve been carrying a lot of grace and appreciation for this moment of my life.
While I can’t give myself a direct, clear answer on where I will go next, I know I have everything that I need. The tools, the wisdom, and plans that I’m prepared to have The Divine change as needed.
Outside voices can sometimes create whispers of doubt, impatience, and uncertainty. But within me I feel a solid ground.
I’ve met a few people recently that confessed they feel “lost” in this life.
I remember what that felt like.
At the end of the day, the questions you should be asking yourself are:
“Who am I? And what do I stand for?”
Who are you?
A face of the divine.
Within you, you hold a unique energetic imprint you are meant to leave in this world.
What do you stand for?
This is your ground.
What keeps you anchored on this Earth.
What you choose to root yourself in.
As long as you live every day, following the truth of who you are and supported by what you stand for, you will always feel whole.
It was easy for me to intellectualize this, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t overcome by doubt and confusion at times. But the more I tuned into my spirit guides, my higher self, and understood my soul’s evolutionary goal, (thank you, astrology), everything I had already felt deep within me was validated.
I took it day by day, integrating this knowing.
I followed the sparks, the warmth, and I ventured wherever my spirit asked for me to go, even if I couldn’t make sense of it at the time.
("I’m sorry, why do I want to go out tonight?"
I don’t know. Just do it.
"Why?"
Well why not? Who are you to judge how the dominoes are to fall?) Until finally, I didn’t feel lost anymore. How could I? I’m right here. Doing what I’m doing, being who I am, all for something that I love.
It sounds so simple, but for me, it’s revolutionary.
Because I remember what it felt like to be lost. I know how much my heart and spirit ached to be aligned, to return home again— I just couldn’t hear her, I couldn’t understand her.
But she was always there.
And now to live every day knowing who I am….
Is a type of heaven I didn’t know was possible.
What brings you home when you feel lost? What has your spirit been whispering to you? Are you still chasing yourself, or allowing your soul to lead?
"And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?" - Rumi
"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott
“We’re all just walking each other home” - Ram Dass
I love the analogy of the spirit in play, leading you to the present like an endless game of hide and seek. working on yourself can often feel like a job that you must reluctantly show up for, and convince yourself it’s discipline. But in play, it feels just like freedom. and once you get a taste you can’t help but to return to the state. happy as a clam. but if you’re not playing, then what complex do you carry? if spirit is not in play, what energy are you attempting to spread?
I believe my spirit is teaching me what patience really looks like, as I’m a person who’s used to being on to the next thing as soon as i’m knee deep in the previous. It’s somewhat selfish of me to treat scenarios like this, but also an excellent demonstration for how quickly things can change and evolve into something greater. I believe this opportunistic side of me that sees where I fit in well is great, as long as it’s not abused. as I am meant to fall back into my own dreams and simple pleasures that make me happy. I am meant to have a life I can call my own. So that I can bring a foundation with me that supports potential collaborations. like exploring new foods, listening to and making music, building, organizing and standardizing, encouraging, praying, even just listening; meditating. these tools, modes that are steady and useful wherever I end up. my own characteristics.
remembering who I am, by setting time aside to be with myself for some activity. paying attention to my inclinations helps me to fall back into place if I have been grabbing on to the worlds around me too much. so much that I forget my roots and upbringing. I can pause and pay respects to then, and now, in those moments.
thank you, Lexie, for this super fun read and opportunity to reflect!
I hope you’re enjoying this day.